I move into the dorms in a day and 10 minutes. Though I don't think that's why I can't fall asleep. I'm blaming that on the fact that I slept in today. But as I lay here, I can't help thinking about where my life is going to go in the next couple of days and weeks. Recently, I've been having some problems with co-workers that have gotten me to my breaking point. I'm waiting on a call from the Bemidji Area Boys and Girls Club on a job offer I'm really excited about. But at the same time, I would be getting paid by work-study and only getting $90 a week, instead of my usual $150 plus tips. I personally think that it will be enough to live on, but my mother thinks not so much. And because of the fact that it is mainly and after school program, it'll be hard for me to get a second job afterwards, not to mention trying to fit schoolwork and a relationship on top of that.
Second on my mind is moving into the dorms. I got a chance to see my room today and I can't get it out of my head; what I want to do with it, how I'm going to set it up, what I'm going to bring. It's driving crazy thinking about all of these things. Plus, making sure I get all of my books and supplies and figuring out this darn Financial Aid crap. It's a lot to take in in one night. And so I sit here, thinking about it all, wishing I could just fall asleep.
I have a feeling I'll be using my blog a lot more during the school year, just because it's a place to put all of my thoughts so that they don't have to be in my head.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Life goes on.
It seems like it just keeps moving. I turned 18, I graduated, and now as I clean my room at my mom's house to get ready for moving to my dad's house, I am met with a sobering thought.
This will be the last few days of living in my mother's house permanently.
In three months, I'll be living on my own. No family. My mom won't be there to yell up the stairs to make sure I'm awake before she heads to work. And I won't hear the young voice following her's in gibberish yelling too. And I'm not sure how that makes me feel yet. It's still sinking in. But soon, I the sinking will have to end and I'll have to face reality; I'm all grown up.
This will be the last few days of living in my mother's house permanently.
In three months, I'll be living on my own. No family. My mom won't be there to yell up the stairs to make sure I'm awake before she heads to work. And I won't hear the young voice following her's in gibberish yelling too. And I'm not sure how that makes me feel yet. It's still sinking in. But soon, I the sinking will have to end and I'll have to face reality; I'm all grown up.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
It's My Religion & I'll Believe If I Want To...
For some reason recently, it's really been bothering me how much people talk bad about the Christian faith. Probably because I am a Christian, yes, but really why would you badmouth what anyone believes.
Call me a bad person, but I believe that people should have the right to practice whatever they feel as long as it is not harming other people. And maybe that's not what I'm supposed to believe by being what faith I am, but at the same time I am an individual person and believe this in my heart. If someone has faith in a certain religion, there is probably a reason.
I'm a Lutheran, partially because I was born and raised a Lutheran, but also because I want to be. I attend my church on a regular basis because I want to, not because I feel I have to. Some of my best friends that I have are also Lutheran and if it weren't for my religion, I probably wouldn't have met them. But above all of those things, I believe the way I do because it makes sense to me. Everything I have learned gives me a rational understanding of why things are happening. Not everything that happens to us happens the way we want it to, but because of my faith I realize that some of the things that I wanted and didn't get were not things that I needed. My faith also gives me support in times that are hard. Without God, there are many things that I would have struggled through. Besides that, God gives me the people of his Church for help and for me to help. And that is powerful.
That is what I believe. And if that's not what you believe, then I understand and I want to know what you believe and what gives you strength and closure at the end of your day. I don't even want anyone to feel like I'm pressuring them into becoming a Lutheran or a Christian if that is not what they desire.
All I ask is one thing. Don't attack my faith. I don't attack yours. I may tell you what I believe and why, but I'm not judging you-if anything I'm trying to learn. Think about it from my perspective; every time you question my faith or judge what I believe, your questioning who I am down to the core and what I would put my life down to defend if it came to that, just like you would your beliefs. So think about it before you attack.
For me, it gives me strength, knowing that I have someone looking over me, helping me when times are hard and things don't make sense. Everyday becomes a miracle and things are just brighter. It gives me something to look forward to when I die, something better this monotonous thing we call life. And you know what? There may not be a God, or a Heaven, but I'm at least living for something and there is nothing you can do to take that away from me. I'll still believe.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6
It is what I believe, not what I'm forcing you to believe. So let me believe. Just let me.
Thank you
Call me a bad person, but I believe that people should have the right to practice whatever they feel as long as it is not harming other people. And maybe that's not what I'm supposed to believe by being what faith I am, but at the same time I am an individual person and believe this in my heart. If someone has faith in a certain religion, there is probably a reason.
I'm a Lutheran, partially because I was born and raised a Lutheran, but also because I want to be. I attend my church on a regular basis because I want to, not because I feel I have to. Some of my best friends that I have are also Lutheran and if it weren't for my religion, I probably wouldn't have met them. But above all of those things, I believe the way I do because it makes sense to me. Everything I have learned gives me a rational understanding of why things are happening. Not everything that happens to us happens the way we want it to, but because of my faith I realize that some of the things that I wanted and didn't get were not things that I needed. My faith also gives me support in times that are hard. Without God, there are many things that I would have struggled through. Besides that, God gives me the people of his Church for help and for me to help. And that is powerful.
That is what I believe. And if that's not what you believe, then I understand and I want to know what you believe and what gives you strength and closure at the end of your day. I don't even want anyone to feel like I'm pressuring them into becoming a Lutheran or a Christian if that is not what they desire.
All I ask is one thing. Don't attack my faith. I don't attack yours. I may tell you what I believe and why, but I'm not judging you-if anything I'm trying to learn. Think about it from my perspective; every time you question my faith or judge what I believe, your questioning who I am down to the core and what I would put my life down to defend if it came to that, just like you would your beliefs. So think about it before you attack.
For me, it gives me strength, knowing that I have someone looking over me, helping me when times are hard and things don't make sense. Everyday becomes a miracle and things are just brighter. It gives me something to look forward to when I die, something better this monotonous thing we call life. And you know what? There may not be a God, or a Heaven, but I'm at least living for something and there is nothing you can do to take that away from me. I'll still believe.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6
It is what I believe, not what I'm forcing you to believe. So let me believe. Just let me.
Thank you
Monday, May 2, 2011
AP Test
I'm taking an advanced placement english class right now. It's pretty much the only class I'm taking right now, since economics shouldn't count, cause I'm not learning anything. We digress. My english class. It's pretty good I think, but now that we are getting ready for the test this cinco de mayo, I'm kinda getting a little worried. Today, Mrs.Hood (my wonderful instructor) sent us home with a mission; recall the important literary works we have studied in the past two years and collect all the information you can recall from them.
I can't.
It's not that I don't want to, cause I really really do. I'd like to write my essay on "The Kite Runner", but I can't promise my prompt will allow me to do that. So here I sit, freaking out because my memory is gone.
Crap.
Oh, and did you hear? The Hide-and-Seek World Champion was found. :)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Welcome Back. To Kindergarten!
So today I got an opportunity that I have looking forward to for some time; I'll be helping out in a kindergarten class this May.
Though to many, that sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard, having 15 six-year-olds all in a room together, I think of it as an opportunity for my last little bit of my childhood. Sure, little kids can be hellish at times, but they can also be amazing. Some of the things that they say and do catch you off guard and can really make your day. That, and it means that I can play with the little twerps and let my imagination roam freebefore I have to lock it up for college. (Or, at least, put it on a leash.) So I'm really looking forward to this chance.
I'll be sure to post updates on how it goes, as well as stories I have about the little snot-nosed brats ;)
Though to many, that sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard, having 15 six-year-olds all in a room together, I think of it as an opportunity for my last little bit of my childhood. Sure, little kids can be hellish at times, but they can also be amazing. Some of the things that they say and do catch you off guard and can really make your day. That, and it means that I can play with the little twerps and let my imagination roam freebefore I have to lock it up for college. (Or, at least, put it on a leash.) So I'm really looking forward to this chance.
I'll be sure to post updates on how it goes, as well as stories I have about the little snot-nosed brats ;)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Oh, how the time flies.
It really does. The last time I posted was almost a month ago, and boy has a lot changed. I could bore you to death with my many numerous stories that don't really make a difference, but I choose not to, because living in the past will get you nowhere. But I do believe that one of these changes will make a big difference to my blog and that is my audience. So, with my audience to keep in mind, I will be focusing on some other things, such as funny stories that happen at work or school or home. Out with the old and in with the new. Horay!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Buy Overpriced Things People Don't Need Day...
That's right, Valentine's Day. Hallmark's Black Friday. A waste of time.
Sorry if I'm not romantic enough, but seriously, what more is it? One day where all of the men of the world go and buy frivolous items to swoon over the girls who think love is all about who gets the best or most expensive item. Stupid. I don't want anything for V-Day because I think that a guy should profess his love everyday (okay, not EVERY day, but be original and do it on a day that isn't expected by the general population of the world).
Maybe I'm being cynical. But I'm not monetarily contributing to this holiday, because I think it's overrated.
Sorry if I'm not romantic enough, but seriously, what more is it? One day where all of the men of the world go and buy frivolous items to swoon over the girls who think love is all about who gets the best or most expensive item. Stupid. I don't want anything for V-Day because I think that a guy should profess his love everyday (okay, not EVERY day, but be original and do it on a day that isn't expected by the general population of the world).
Maybe I'm being cynical. But I'm not monetarily contributing to this holiday, because I think it's overrated.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Too long...
It feels like forever since I've been on my blog. Which is funny considering that I'm "supposed to let my creative energy flow as much as possible." Or so says my writing teacher. I think blogging is a good outlet for that. But alas, I find nothing to write about. Nothing that fascinating has happened to me recently (or at least nothing I wish to share with the internet.). I wish I had a funny post like they have on Hyperbole and a Half or The Oatmeal (which, BTW you should check out), but I don't have one of those even. Gah!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)